“Doing the RIGHT thing in a WRONG world!!”

I have often been quoted as saying “sometimes doing the Right thing is the hardest thing to do”, to our children. I am always putting them into a position where during a important conversation I “make them see the answers” by not giving them the solutions. Our Children are aged from 15 to 22 so we are not dealing with “young” kids here. A example of this would be a conversation with my youngest son concerning one of his “previous girlfriends”, he stated that he had become interested in a different girl. So I listened and he went on to say that he was going to ask her out and then of coarse he justified it by saying “I am tired of the old one because all we do is argue”. I said to him “have you broken up with the old girlfriend yet?” His answer: No. He went on to explain he didn’t want to break up with her until he “checked out how the new girl would be”. I then said “how is she going to feel when she finds out you went out with another girl?” Well to make a long story short, He said “your right I should break up with her before I go out with the other one”. Of coarse I told him that was a “wise decision” and that “in this family we treat people the way we expect to be treated”. And I left it at that, feeling proud for him. The reality of that example is simple, had we not discussed it at all he would have continued with his “Plan” that was not thought through, and would have either learned the hard way, or despite knowing it was wrong he would repeat his mistake because it was “the route he is used to taking”.

Recently however a very interesting series of conversations with our Eldest son really made me think about current events, and Civil Rights as a whole. To give you a background my ex-wife lives in a different state, almost three thousand miles from where I now reside in North Carolina. But I continue close communication with my oldest son who is 18 years of age now. My ex-wife didn’t date for almost ten years after our divorce, and then “found Jesus”, she had not only gotten very involved in Christianity she is leaning on “Extremism”. So during our election which was the first one he could vote in, she was putting alot pressure on him by discussing why she wanted McCain to win. Like most Right wing Conservatives “his JOB performance and creditability” were not her main concerns. Even after McCain picked his running mate, and it turned out she was not equipped at all for the position, his mother did not waiver. So we talked about why I thought the wiser choice in all regards would be Obama! At first he thought I was trying to convince him out of “principle” until I made it clear that “this was his choice”. He is a young adult, who legally can make this choice for himself. This seemed to give him a sense of “empowerment” and our conversations got more into the “FACTS” of McCain’s past, and present. He had some more conversations with his mother, and brought up “his valid views on the subject” which got her attention a bit. But she bounced back with the “Abortion” issue, and all of the other Conservative Rhetoric that the Right wing offers up. My Son felt “trapped” in a way. He didn’t want to disappoint anyone, but he surely would, I assured him this choice is about “how he thinks about the facts surrounding it” and again told him “Its HIS choice”, and I wouldn’t be angry at him no matter how he decided it. Some time went by (about a week) and he proclaimed he might not Vote. I told him, that with our country in its current state, doing nothing is not acceptable. He needs to make a choice and stick with it. This is not the time to “give up” it is the time to let your voice be heard!! Well the day before the election he proclaimed “that he figured out who he is Voting for” and that he just wont discuss it with anyone later. The conversation went on to discuss how “perhaps we don’t agree with the social issue’s, or the issue of Abortion” But when we look at what is “Right and Wrong” we must go with “What is Right for the Country” because its not about us, as individuals. I was proud and honored to find out he had Voted for Barrack Obama, despite many of his friends, and family were pushing all of the negativity about him. It boiled down to “simple right and wrong in the end”.

As a nation when we Vote on something that affects a great number of people, we can not allow ourselves to be “emotionally driven” in our decisions. We must always look at the “facts” and see through what we know to be the “fiction” that always gets written and said. If “We the PEOPLE of the UNITED States of America” do not put Country first in pivotable decisions then we would “stagnate and cease to change” which would ultimately lead us to our end. In the days of Slavery, people knew what they were doing was wrong in regards to Civil Rights, yet out of pure “Greed” and “Selfishness” they lived a life of “Ignorance”. Almost a million people lost their lives because of that “Stubborn Ignorance”.

Personally I do not like “Abortion” and I do think its something no person likes. I think its a simple problem however. Any Woman who considers Abortion has a reason, personal to her, that would drive her to do so. Perhaps “Her Reason is something debatable” but the choice is hers to make. It is her body and her choice. We have laws that limit when a Abortion can be done, so the “Limits are in place” to give legal guidelines to it. The responsible thing for me to do as a “individual” is to make sure a woman’s right to “choice” is available to her. I may not like it, but its the “Right thing to do”, because if we do not allow the “Choice” we surely will have more and more choices taken from us in the future. This is America! Not Russia, or China where choice is not a word people use much. Religious people use the words “your killing a person”, or “God will punish you”. Well lets look at reality for a second, until the “Fetus” can live outside the “womb” on its own its essentially not “a complete person” it more resembles “A work in progress”. That is why late and mid term Abortions are illegal. And on the subject of “God” it is up to the woman making the choice, and HER relationship with God. The Right thing to do, is leave the individual “in charge of her destiny” and the “choice to make decisions that affect her life”.

On the subject of Gay Rights. Its another simple issue yet again. Homosexuality has existed since people have existed. They feel more comfortable for individual reasons, being with the same gender as themselves. When two people with equal “Sexual and Emotional needs” are in a relationship they want to be Married to “legally and socially bind them in Matrimony”. That is true with all people. Even people who don’t believe in “Marriage” want a ceremony of some sort to “mark the day, and celebrate the moment”. The legal aspects of this are important as well, for the purpose of adoption, and health benefits, even as simple as visiting your “Partner” in a Hospital during “there time of need” depends upon “Marriage”. So who are we, to deny these “PEOPLE” who “WISH TO HONOR AND LOVE EACH OTHER, TILL DEATH DO THEY PART”? Its a basic “Civil Right” and its about “Equality” as well. No matter how we feel about Gay people we must do what is right for them, and support their right “To choose who they want to be Married to despite Gender”. Its a matter of Responsibility and Respect. So long as a Gay person is not “Sexually Harassing anyone” where is the issue at all? Christian People argue that they do not want their children being taught about “Homosexuality in School”, well I have got news for them, “WE LIVE IN A DIVERSE NATION WHERE ALL PEOPLE HAVE EQUAL OPPORTUNITY DESPITE THEIR MONETARY OR SOCIAL OR SEXUAL STATUS!!” That is what this country was founded on. We often should be seeing the reality that we “HAVE NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER AT ALL” Because it was a “Matter of doing the Right thing, despite how we feel about it”. And there should be “no mystery or conflict when we look at reality” its just fact at that point.

~ by melman65 on November 21, 2008.